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Monday, May 4, 2020

News Trend Spa Day|Actual

It's not bragging to say I was born with a green thumb.

The undeniable fact of the matter is that plant-tending is in my blood. Both sides of my family tree are jam-packed with successful farmers and gardeners galore.

My great-grandfather, Jacob Belz, worked his farm to great financial success. Not only did he put food on the table and shoes on the feet of his ten children, he also provided them with pianos, harps, violins, and all the lessons needed for his fleet of little maestros.

My paternal grandmother, Cecelia, was the kind of lady who tossed her carrot trimmings out into the corner of her city backyard and came back a month later to harvest a fresh crop. Every inch of her tiny plot was crammed full of enthusiastic growth. I particularly remember her impressive stretch of hens and chicks along the front sidewalk.

And Clara, my mother's mother, worked not only a twenty by fifty foot plot of vegetables but endless borders of perennials: black-eyed Susans, chrysanthemums, and peonies. My mother told me about the delphinium and rose spectacles that my grandmother had produced in her younger days - towering spectacles of blue and bowers of pink and white, all blooming against the odds of the scorching Michigan summer heat.

So it is that I come to my passion for houseplants with all the genetic odds stacked in my favor, but here's the thing:

No one - not even the Instagram fashionistas with the jungly living rooms and gorgeous green specimens from here to next week - has perfect houseplants.

No one.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1lMqaZN4M7Mej5fjx_4O-Mgvdrl-8aj6K

Here is some happy news - over the winter, my Chinese money plants gave birth to a handful of pips  - babies that grow from mom's roots and can be clipped to become independent plants. This one is still a bit young to leave its mother but three others graduated to their own pots.

Oh sure, every plant looks real nice when you bring it home from the nursery, after living its young life in ideal growing conditions and pampered by professionals for profit. But once that pretty bit of tumbuhan comes home and settles in for a while, things can and do go wrong. In fact, I've observed that for the first six to nine months at home, my plants all go through a phase of adapting to their new micro-climate - a very few thrive from the get-go, most experience a considerable hiccup and sorting out period, and there's always a handful that just struggle and die.

Even the most experienced and intuitive gardener must accept these imperfections as rules of the game, and do whatever they can to help their houseplants fight for survival.

And so it was that yesterday, my two younger daughters - whose thumbs are every bit as naturally green as mine - and I decided it was time to treat our plants to a spa day.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1aBbV9vTBwOTWTQ_JhPciRlO5YJmRsM_D

This is a prime pip, He makes me smile.

After the long and ridiculously dark Seattle winter, many of our plants had suffered some setbacks but we had just the remedies they needed.

A quick session with the pruning shears took care of browned leaves and dried out stems.

Cinnamon sprinkled on the soil cuts back on mold issues and also those pesky little flies that live on perpetually damp soil.

Fertilizer does much to lift the spring spirits of the houseplant so we offered ours an appropriate dose.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1VeSMPfg0E3jez-an8s2EFMlk52r3fYxV

Now living independently in a bright blue pot, my biggest pip was kind of like your thirty-something son who still lives in the basement - it was high time for him to move out and get his own place. In the pot below him, a struggling sprig of prayer plant is getting one more chance to shape up and thrive.

In order to suit the plants' space needs and our aesthetic whims, we enjoyed a session of moving this plant into that pot, playing a bit of round robin using up all our extra potting soil and our inventory of extra pots.

We inspected the vulnerable ivies and jade trees for aphids. Ugh. Found another plant infested with those little white monsters and as much as we hate to do it, dumped that poor victim right into the compost. From some maladies there are no happy endings.

And horror of horrors, my third-born's anthurium was infested with worms. Worms! Tiny little deep red things, that not only crawled through the soil but wrapped themselves around the roots with more tenacity than my garden hose could overcome.

But not to worry, we rinsed all the soil off the roots, jammed the whole plant into a big cup of water and drowned the little suckers. Problem solved.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1g0K7X3XJwPBIa4m7Wkloertsx6ZfClkM

This is the plant with worms. I have no words.

By the end of their spa afternoon, our newly restored plants were singing in the sunshine, and we humans were well chuffed with our satisfied customers.

All of our plants are now in prime condition.

The minute the stay-at-home orders lift, we'll be ready and raring to welcome some new plants into our tender, loving care.

Sunday, May 3, 2020

News Trend Now|Actual

"Now is the only time we have." -Richard Carlson

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One rainy afternoon last spring, I found myself in a garden full of blooming allium.

Perfect spheres of tiny purple flowers, swaying gently on tall, rigid stems and looking like something straight out of Dr. Seuss.

Over the years - and decades - I've seen other allium now and then and thought how delightfully whimsical they are and how fantastic it would be to have some one day.

One day.

I never put a time stamp on that wish. Just a vague thought pushed to the middle background of my mind that eventually I'd get around to those allium.

I figured I had plenty of time.

Well. Something in my way of thinking has changed.

Because last spring, when I drew in my breath and smiled at those wonky purple flowers, a pair of words came into my mind.

Next year.

Yes. I told myself, no more "one day" thinking. There's no more time to waste. By next spring, I told myself, I will have my own allium blooming happily in my very own garden, and that's that.

And so I do.

I still have plenty of time in my life to dream more dreams and make them come true. But now I'm completely focused on the follow through.

Instead of saying, "One day," my mantra these days is "Now."

News Trend Remembering The 58,318|Actual

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18dK0cJUPbhHsgWZP9RctuziVxtwSHsZX

Memorial Day is considered the official start of summer, and usually kicks off a series of camping trips, barbecues, and family gatherings that roll on till September. And despite the notoriously wet weather that normally greets us on this end-of-May holiday, I'm usually down with the slip-n-slide, burgers on the grill mindset.

Sure, we all know that Memorial Day is officially meant for remembering those dear souls who have passed before us, especially those who gave their lives in service to our country. We hang our flags and visit the cemeteries and maybe tell a few stories about our fallen heroes. These are important acts too.

But this year feels very different to me. Because I'm in the middle of watching the Ken Burns documentary series on the Vietnam War, and it is rocking my world. As a little girl just beginning to figure out life during those war years, I found it very difficult to piece together the tidbits of information I slowly accumulated about this terrible conflict on the other side of the world that was threatening to tear apart the fabric of my simple life. Like most other girls my age, I sent away for a stainless steel POW bracelet and wore it on my arm till it fell off one day while I was swimming and I saw many a protest on the familiar campus at nearby University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, where my eyes just barely could peek out at the bottom of the car window as we drove past.

Now I understand why. Even as a seasoned adult, I'm just beginning to understand what a truly complicated, frustrating, one-of-a-kind rat trap that war turned out to be. I have a certain amount of compassion and understanding for all the political players and military honchos who just did not understand what they were up against. I can easily wrap my head around the thinking of the voices of protest who demanded that we, as a country, make love not war, though I can see now that in their intense frustration, protesters sometimes went too far in their violence and aggressive postures.

And while I feel frustration and anger for the motivations of the North Vietnamese who determined to convert their country to communism at any cost, my heart breaks over and over again for the people of Vietnam who simply tried to live their lives in the midst of a literal war zone. Since I've been lucky enough to visit that country three times while my third-born daughter was living and teaching English there, I feel a personal connection to the gentle people and the now-familiar places that feature so prominently in the story of the war, and suffered such profound loss.

But as the 17-hour series unfolds, one message comes through loud and clear to me: the vast majority of the young men - boys, really - who put their boots on the ground in Vietnam and tried to do the job they were sent to do are heroes. When I hear the full story, I realize that many of the atrocities they reportedly committed - that haunted my nightmares as a child - are much more complicated and nuanced than simply American soldiers gone rogue. There is ample evidence that most of the U.S. Soldiers did what they could to make the best out of an absolutely awful situation, and they gave their lives with great courage and selflessness.

And so on this Memorial Day, I lift up the lives of the 58,318 American soldiers who died in the terrible mess of the Vietnam War, and thank them with all my heart for their service.

News Trend Everyday People|Actual

"I am no better, and neither are you

We are the same whatever we do."

-Sly and the Family Stone

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1COKkudvHx0nguPNvel5EVX2YQgEKsXSk

The history of the human race is written with countless struggles of persecuted people against their oppressors. Race, along with gender and religion, has been a classic dividing line and for millennia, judging people according to the color of their skin was considered simply to be the way the world worked.

Though change has burbled up in different places at different times, here in the United States, a nation founded on the idea of freedom, we have struggled mightily with the concept of race.

In the mid-1800s, abolitionists raised their voices to demand change in the nation's attitudes toward slavery.

The American Civil War was fought in the 1860s at great cost of human life to bring that system of degradation and dehumanization to and end.

During the 1960s, a new wave of civil rights swept over the country, attempting to wipe away the ugly vestiges of slavery that still lingered in the form of Jim Crow laws, segregation, suppressed voting rights, and ugly discrimination.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1pPHtjSOdIBEGI5klmnLqlT-jK2ja4OL7

I remember those days.

The calm, measured tones of Martin Luther King Jr. And his beautiful leadership of nonviolent protest.

The dignity of artists of the day - Sidney Poitier, Maya Angelou, Jimi Hendrix, Jacob Lawrence, Berry Gordy Jr. - who showed us the rich treasures of black contributions to our culture

And I remember the violence of race riots and street wars that swept the country, including my own Detroit, as black tempers boiled over in frustrations at the slow progress Americans made in recognizing and respecting our black brothers and sisters.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1g9i3NAiORplrMcq2iBRmNk_KYyUzGVbF

I never understood those terms, black and white. Aren't we all just different shades of brown?

I'm very thankful that my mother raised me to value people of all colors. When I was four or five, I remember telling her that I didn't understand how people could think skin color mattered, because it's just the outside layer of our bodies. If everyone is the same on the inside, how could their color make any difference?

"Yes. You're right," she told me. "We're all the same."

And I've always been grateful for that.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1147RjpfYRZBnct1yLJlXeywpyD-SDoG5

Amidst the terrible chaos of the sixties, I often thought, Surely America is finally learning her lesson. By the time I'm grown up, we will all live in love.

And I must point out that things did get better. As much as we still find ourselves today walking the edge of the sharp blade of racism, I can cite one simple example of just how far we have come: Until 1967, interracial marriage was literally against the law. And for as long as two decades after that, even though I lived near one major college campus and attended another, and then worked in the heart of a major city, I did not know a since interracial couple nor did I see them anywhere in the world. Nowadays, mixed race couples show up routinely in everyday life and barely even register in our awareness. In some ways, we have learned to live together.

But sadly, maddeningly, horrifically, racial violence continues. And that is unacceptable.

Why? I ask myself, over and over, with each new name added to the list of dead black men, needlessly killed at the hands of whites.

Why can't we learn this simple lesson to judge our brothers and sisters not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character?

I daresay no one knows why it's taking us so long.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1O5E6ZD6YaWkaJcQtr-Bk4ngXgfbdz7sv

Yes, we need to improve our social systems to prevent the outrageous acts of police violence against black citizens, to correct imbalanced sentencing practices, to call out our leaders - especially our president - who shamelessly expose their racist attitudes.

We need to vote carefully, use our power as citizens to speak out, and hold our institutions accountable to building a fair and equitable society for people of all colors.

But I am convinced that the truest, deepest answer to our problem is profoundly simple.

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1P-1tXU7tPF2F9CKfO53fLKRaNhorgq0T

In our day-to-day interactions, we with the palest skin have a special responsibility to treat all our brothers and sisters with

Compassion.

Empathy.

Acceptance.

Equality

Respect.

Love.

We are all everyday people, and it's high time that as a nation, we started acting like it.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

News Trend Right Now|Actual

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18AP5qQHItshku_AkY6Urhqeahues-do8

See my original post here.

These past few days, I've been riding the George Floyd/Black Lives Matter wave on social media.

Acknowledging our black brothers' and sisters' reality.

Advocating for love and compassion.

Actively speaking my truth.

Encouraging others to speak theirs.

As a part of that well-intended surge of positive energy, this morning, I posted the image shown above - "Silence is not an option." - with my own caption:

Say what's on your mind. Say what's on your heart. Speak your truth. Quote beautiful quotes. Repost, retweet, repeat. Because now is an important time for our great national conversation on race, brotherhood, and peace among the people to move forward and we need to hear each voice. We need to hear your voice. So please. Speak up.

I didn't think it was a bad post. Reading it back even now, I can see my good intentions and positive vibes.

But in my very next scroll, I came acrossanother post, headed up by the now-familiar solid black square and these words, posted by Jen Gotch, an Instagram influencer, business leader, and passionate advocate and author on mental health, especially her own life-long struggles with depression and bi-polar disorder.

I imagine for many it is clear that I wholeheartedly do not feel equipped in any way to navigate what is happening. Normally, when I feel overwhelmed and confused, I retreat. I think, I read, I listen and I hope to learn. I hope to gain certainty, so that I can participate with confidence and conviction. So that I can participate without inadvertently hurting others with my words or my ignorance. So I took some time over the past few days to do just that and quickly realized that the learning I would need to accomplish to get to a comfort level that would make me feel prepared to participate in any way would take more than a weekend, more than a month, it would take the rest of my life and even then it wouldn?T be enough. I was also prioritizing my need to not feel publicly shamed or embarrassed if I got any of it wrong. What I think now is that the act of retreating to gain a comfort level on a subject such as this is in and of itself a symptom of my privilege. I am so sorry if my absence on this issue hurt you or caused you to wonder for even a split second whether or not I cared. In an effort to get it right, I feel that got it wrong. So I am working to become a better ally and friend and I am prepared to participate with the best intentions no matter my level of discomfort. When I get it wrong again, because I know I inadvertently will (I might have even done so here), I will do so knowing that I got it wrong trying, which I realize now is more important than not trying at all.

I read the whole caption in once big gulp, and then I quickly flipped through the comments.

In the blink of an eye, my mindset shifted.

Here's a woman who puts herself out into public space, who painstakingly details her daily pain and anguish - as well as her road maps for recovery - for others to learn from, who advocates for the hurting and broken people of this world every day of her life.

But when she candidly reveals that she needs a bit of time to process the overwhelming syok that all of us have felt in these last few days of police brutality, public protests, and racial tension, when she apologizes for taking that time to listen, to learn - to think, for goodness sake - probably half of her commenters chided her for her privilege, her lack of sensitivity to her black readers' reality, her apparent decision to waste her platform by not immediately taking a more articulate stand.

What in the name of love are we doing to one another?

With my brain engulfed in flames of passion, I fired off a comment of my own:

Jen, anyone who knows you knows your heart of compassion, of thoughtfulness, of love. Take the time you need to work through this issue in your own head and heart, and when you're ready to weigh in, I look forward to hearing what you have to say,.

In the meantime, look, I get it, people. In this time of great passion and desire to deepen connection with and show much-deserved respect to our black brothers and sisters, we want immediate action. Some of us are ready to jump in to that conversation fast, and feel a deep frustration with those who need to take more time to listen, to learn, to consider what to say. I get how to some, that may feel like betrayal. Like cowardice. Like racism. But I ask that you also consider this: more than ever we must recognize and take responsibility for the power of our words and use them carefully. And if we decide to judge and shame those who want more time to listen and learn before they speak, well, then we may have just missed the point of this moment altogether.

And while my sudden burst of tiny typing mostly burned off the original rush of frustration, I'm still a bit upset with myself.

These days - on top of countless other days just like them, stretching back over the entirety of my life and then centuries back through the history of our nation and the human race - are painful and difficult for everyone. Of course, the victims of this abuse and torment are our black brothers and sisters, and their anguish comes first. But the rest of us are witnesses to their terror, and our ever-expanding awareness of systemic racism and the social evils that these episodes reveal cause real pain and grief for all decent human beings.

Grief takes time. Just because someone isn't ready to speak out today doesn't mean they will remain silent forever. And in any case, it's not my job, nor is it anyone else's job, to push someone to speak before they are ready.

Looking at it with fresh eyes, my morning post now strikes me as rude and disrespectful. I'm sorry for using my need for urgency to put pressure and implicit judgment on others.

So please, people, let me encourage all of us as I remind myself:

Let's remember what this moment and this movement are all about.

Let's offer our compassion and support to our black brothers and sisters.

Let's respect their journey and recognize their pain.

Let's remember that until all are free, none of us are free.

Let's give to all people the space to listen, to learn, to grow.

Let's give each and every one of us unending streams of mercy and grace.

Let's love one another right now.

* * * * *

Get Together by the Youngbloods

Composed by Chet Power

Love is but a song we sing

Fear's the way we die

You can make the mountains ring

Or make the angels cry

Though the bird is on the wing

And you may not know why

Come on, people now

Smile on your brother

Everybody get together

Try to love one another right now.

Some may come and some may go

He will surely pass

When the one that left us here

Returns for us at last

We are but a moment's sunlight

Fading in the grass

Come on, people now

Smile on your brother

Everybody get together

Try to love one another right now.

If you hear the song I sing

You will understand - listen

You hold the key to love and frear

All in your trembling hand

Just one key unlocks them both

It's there at your command.

Come on, people now

Smile on your brother

Everybody get together

Try to love one another right now.

News Trend Moment By Moment|Actual

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=18u7dfkayoN1iVZ14YBRhsi_dHM--95Ly

Right on schedule, the sparkling sunshiny days of April and early May have given way to a classic Pacific Northwest start on summer.

After weeks of beautiful spring weather and even a chance to work on my first sunburn of the year, fog and misty rain have rolled in with the beautiful big blossoms of the season.

Roses

delphinium

foxglove

peonies

and rhododendrons galore

are bursting into bloom this weekr, and while they love the cool weather and lush humidity, their delicate petals are easily crushed by rain. So there's that to worry about. But over the years, I've dealt with many a rain-induced calamity and learned this lesson well.

I enjoy what my garden has to offer, moment by moment, and remind myself that nothing - not even a fabulous hedge of brilliant rhodies - will last forever.

News Trend Staying Together |Actual

https://drive.google.com/uc?export=view&id=1UP8qcT3lNZcdxXOtN-EyAqc8a_VZ-QSn

Today is my wedding anniversary

It's been quite a few years since the day that this bride and groom who once topped my husband's parents' wedding cake stood upon my own, and while no marriage is ever bulletproof, at this point, ours has definitely beaten the odds.

In honor of this special day, here are a few observations about what has helped us stay together:

Compatible values.

My husband and I have different interests, different energies, different personality traits. On the Ennegram scale, he's a  hardcore 1 and I'm a total 2; in Meyers-Briggs speak, he comes out as an ITSJ and I'm an INFJ; two types with similar letters that are ideologically many miles apart. When we meet strangers, there's often a bit of head-scratching that goes on as people struggle to connect the dots between his orderly, man-of-few-words, no-nonsense personality, and my Ke$sha/Mrs. Weasely vibes. It's true, we are very different people. But what holds us together, what forms the solid core of our union, is that we agree on what's most important in life. Kindness. Respect. Honesty. Curiosity. Hard work. Selflessness. Love.

Let each other grow.

I have a friend who jokes that her husband courted her under the false pretense that he was a sporty, outdoorsy kind of guy, and then once the ink was dry on the marriage certificate, he totally shattered that illusion by permanently parking himself on the couch. It's a funny story to which many married people can relate; there's definitely some truth about the ways that we relax into marriage. But over the years, we also change. My husband is a very different person than he was when we were dating, and sometimes that frustrates me. But spoilers - I've changed at least as much as he has. Probably more. And it's our willingness to let each other reinvent ourselves that has allowed each of us - and our marriage - to grow.

Roll with the punches.

Yeah, yeah, we all know that the traditional wedding vows lay out some serious warnings of life's potential for problems: "For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." I thought I knew what I was doing when I agreed to all that. And I did, to the best of my twenty-five-year-old understanding of life. But dude, I had NO idea about some of the curve balls and challenges that were coming our way, and honestly, I'm sure it's better that I didn't. What's more important is that we knew to expect some troubles so when the troubles showed up, we fairly quickly got over our shock and just started figuring out how to deal.

It's a threesome.

Okay, look. This is either going to sound obvious or totally preposterous, depending your own point of view, but trusting in God is the best ace up our marital sleeve. I'm serious. If married people believe that God brought them together and built up their lives together for a reason and a purpose, then it's a whole lot easier to get over the proverbial dirty socks on the floor. Whenever I'm annoyed with my husband - who by the way has never, ever thrown a single dirty sock on the floor and almost certainly never will - God has a way of reminding me, "Sure, you have a legitimate grievance but then again, you haven't had to change a single light bulb or battery in the last three decades. What's that worth to you?" He's the ultimate good-faith negotiator who keeps both my husband and me at our best when we need it most and without him, we would certainly fall short.

* * * * *

And a final thought that may be the most important one of all. In our first few years of marriage, we actually did struggle with that classic marital conundrum - should the toothpaste tube be squeezed from the bottom or the middle? After debating the issue with all the rational firepower we each could muster and still not coming to a meeting of the minds, we resolved the problem once and for all by buying ourselves our own tubes of toothpaste.

That's a small price to pay for a lifetime of staying together.