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Sunday, July 12, 2020

News Trend Fighting Back|Actual

My mom spent countless hours playing cards with with my girls as they were growing up.

She and my second-born (whose face is hidden behind the tree) particularly loved Five Crowns,

and even though my mom groaned when my daughters won, I know she was secretly proud of her sharp-witted grandkids.

My mom always had a sharp mind.

She was quick.

She was clever.

She was usually one step ahead of everyone else.

And even though Lewy Body Dementia eventually took much of her brain and eventually her life, she fought back long and well.

* * * * *

Last night I stumbled across an article about how to get your loved one with dementia to go to a doctor's appointment. Oh yes, that was always a tricky maneuver with my mom. The article laid out a lot of good suggestions, ones that worked for my mom and me:

  • Do not announce the appointment ahead of time. On the morning of the appointment, simply slip it into the conversation that you'll be going out together. My mom didn't necessarily mind seeing doctors, but the anticipation totally stressed her out. I came to see that my secrecy was a gift to my mom's peace of mind, and I stopped feeling guilty about my manipulation.
  • Make sure to schedule the appointment midday so there's lots of time to get ready. My mom did not like to accept help in her dressing routine, and it took a lot of patience to let her do things herself. I would sit on the couch and breathe deep.
  • Write down your biggest concerns and privately hand them to the doctor's staff before going in to the exam. Sly as I tried to be, my mom usually noticed and asked me what I had given them. "Paperwork," I would vaguely reply. And that seemed to work.
  • If the doctor or staff direct their attention only to you, redirect them to your loved one. When doctors talked exclusively to me - and I was shocked at how often they would - I would simply not reply, look at my mom, and let her answer.
  • After the appointment, if your loved one is mad, commiserate with them about that "awful" doctor. But stop short of undermining the doctor's instructions. I have so many memories of listening to my mom rant after doctor's appointments. All my years of mothering teenage daughters came into play as I remembered to acknowledge her feelings without getting too involved in the content of the conversation. These were helpful, healthy moments in our relationship and though I didn't always enjoy them as they were happening, I am grateful for them now.
  • Plan to do something super fun after the appointment, so your loved one's outing will end on a high note. My mom was all about that Olive Garden soup and salad combo, and a few warm bread sticks always, always cheered her up.

The full article here has many more nifty ideas.

* * * * *

These tips brought back a lot of sweet memories of the times I had to maneuver my sick but still extremely clever mother into a doctor?S office. They really do work.

And my mom developed her own tricks too. During one visit, as we sat in the waiting room, I noticed that she was repeatedly checking and rechecking the lock screen on her iPhone, so I asked her what she was doing. ?Oh, this fool doctor never knows what day it is so he?S always asking me for the date. I memorize it before I go in.?

* * * * *

My mother has been gone two years now. My feelings about her passing are still mostly unprocessed; I'm still outraged at how she suffered, and I'm so strangely relieved that her battle is over.

But then I remember how her indelibly sharp mind fought back against that terrible disease, and I can't help but smile.

News Trend Suitcase Signals|Actual

?Gracie, come here. Jump up in the bed and watch me.?

Hops in bed with boundless enthusiasm.

?Gracie, see what I?M doing? I?M packing up my suitcase. Do you know what that means??

Tips head curiously but has no idea.

?I?M going on a trip, girl. Without you.?

GULP

?Don?T worry, I?Ll be back. And the others will be here to take care of you. You?Ll be fine.?

Ears droop. Shoulders slump. Eyes beg me to stay.

* * * * *

I?M hoping that Gracie will soon learn that my suitcase means a temporary separation. I want her to understand what is happening when I need to leave her for a while.

And while the sight of my suitcase may send her sad signals, I also know that my faithful dog is learning to trust that I will always, always come back.

* * * * *

I spent an eventful week in Columbus with my second-born - here are all the details:

Suitcase Signals

Fox In The Snow

Picking Pumpkins

The Bean

The Gorilla And The Flamingo

Doughnut Vault

Wells Street Bridge

The Rookery

Flamingo Again

Wabash Arts Corridor

The Berghoff

Glossier Pop-Up

Bookcase Bonanza

News Trend Chicago: The Bean|Actual

What started out as a week's visit to my second-born in Columbus, Ohio,

somehow turned into a road trip to Chicago.

Not only did we squeeze an amazing amount of sightseeing into forty-eight hours,

but we stayed a mere block away from my former office and retraced

the streets and sights of my life in Chicago

all those many years ago.

Oh, if I had just one hour to spend in Chicago, I would spend it at the Bean.

I love the Bean.

Funny, this large shiny object also known as Cloud Gate was not even a twinkle in a landscape architect's eye back when I lived in Chicago. But my loyalties to this newcomer are strong.

For one thing, I love the way it stands between nature and the city; a fulcrum, a pivot point between the two essential components of a healthy urban environment.

I love the big shoulders of the skyscrapers along Michigan Avenue that stand guard over the Bean.

I love the way this balance of trees and buildings ebbs and flows as I walk around the Bean

shifting

changing

undulating

as leaves and concrete dance together.

At the same time, I love to watch the reflection of the scenery glide by on the silvery surface of the Bean.

My mind's eye shifts back and forth between the actual city and the reflected city, and I lose track of which is more real.

And I love the crazy confusion.

I love to watch people play at the Bean.

Everyone, everyone is obsessed with taking photos of themselves. But the real fun begins once they put their cameras down and look up.

Because seeing yourself

reflected

illuminated

transformed

by the metallic magic of the Bean is more fun than I can possibly describe.

Chicago is a city bursting with beautiful, unique, must-see spots.

But if I could only choose one, I would choose the Bean.

* * * * *

I've been to the Bean once before. Go here to see more about my first visit.

* * * * *

Read more stories about my long overdue reunion with the city with big shoulders:

The Bean

The Gorilla And The Flamingo

Doughnut Vault

Wells Street Bridge

The Rookery

Flamingo Again

Wabash Arts Corridor

The Berghoff

Glossier Pop-Up

Saturday, July 11, 2020

News Trend My Thanksgiving Shopping List|Actual

Like most Americans, our Thanksgiving table is heaped with traditional fare and family favorites. With just a few tweaks and upgrades, we pretty much eat the same meal, year after delightfully satisfying year.

And like most cooks responsible for this celebratory meal, I find myself writing out the same shopping list year after year, trying desperately to remember every last necessary item - from the plastic cooking bags for the turkey to the toothpicks needed to keep the plastic wrap off the top of the cheesecake.

There are a lot of details to manage, and every year as I'm wracking my brain to remember whatever it was that caused me to make last-year's eleventh-hour Wednesday night trip to the grocery store, I find myself asking, "Why don't I just write down one master Thanksgiving shopping list and keep it from year to year?!?"

Ta daaaa. At long last, here it is.

The Main Event

Turkey:

We are all about that white meat and get a manageable level of leftovers from the breast alone.

Fresh turkey breast

roasting bag

Gravy:

Pan drippings are the essential ingredient but I use chicken stock to boost the quantity, and corn starch for thickening. I come from a long line of anti-flour gravy makers.

Chicken stock

corn starch

Mashed Potatoes

Stalwart traditionalists, we abhor any additives such as garlic, herbs, or cheese that muddy the pure mashed potato waters.

Russet or Yukon gold potatoes

butter

milk

heavy cream

Dressing:

We stuff our dressing into a casserole dish rather than a whole bird, and use a bit of chicken stock to keep it moist. Orowheat 12 Grain and Oatnut are our go-to bread choices.

Two loaves bread

celery

two large onions

sage

apples

Chicken stock

optional sausage

optional walnuts

Cranberry Sauce

Homemade is so easy and a billion times better than the canned stuff.

Fresh cranberries

sugar

Biscuits or Rolls

I cut corners here by picking up a roll of pre-made dough and tossing it in the oven at the last minute. Please don't tell my grandmother.

Roll of prepared dough

butter

Side Dishes

Green Bean Casserole

Oh, I know. This dish is a total cliche and a mash-up of oversalted, overprocessed foods. But we love it and that's that.

8 cans green beans

2 boxes french friend onions

1 large can mushroom soup

milk

Mac and Cheese

My first-born loves this family favorite so much that she offers it a place of honor at the holiday table. Recipes vary from year to year, but the foundational ingredients remain the same.

Pasta

cheddar cheese

butter

flour

milk

"Parmesan cheese

Panko bread crumbs

Squash

Holiday feasts can be healthy too. This simple fare brings balance to the table.

Acorn/Danish squash

olive oil

Desserts

Spongy Trifle

When she was tiny, my eldest daughter fell in love with a picture book about Christmas in England. The protagonists helped their mom make a spongy trifle for dessert and she wanted to try it too. Every since, we've made this pretty dish part of our holiday table and it's a pretty fabulous tradition.

Angel food cake

jam

bananas

mandarin oranges

fresh raspberries

cook and serve vanilla pudding

milk

shortbread cookies

heavy cream

Fruit Pies

Apple or pear or blackberry or cherry are all acceptable options. Even pecan. But we don't do pumpkin.

Fruit of choice

flour

sugar

shortening

butter

vanilla ice cream

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Hot Fudge Peanut Butter Pie

These two decadent desserts have become standards at our Thanksgiving after party. The former is a favorite of my second born, who often bakes one cheesecake for our family to enjoy and a second to share at work on Black Friday. And my third-born advocates for the chocolate pie and has often whipped up an Asian version of the recipe to share at Vietnamese and Korean Thanksgiving celebrations.

For two cheesecakes:

dua premade graham cracker crusts

8 eight-ounce packages cream cheese

sugar

flour

pumpkin puree

cinnamon

nutmeg

vanilla extract

eggs

For that creamy chocolate pie

premade Oreo crumb pie crust

egg white

peanut butter

1 package cream cheese

sugar

Cool Whip

heavy cream

hot fudge

peanuts

Beverages

Sparkling Cider

Wine

A sparkling sip of crispy apple goodness cleanses the palate and settles the stomach between bites of a long, hearty meal. And a mellow glass of wine helps relax the adrenlaine-charged cooks into relaxation.

Sparkling apple juice or cider

chardonnay or pinot grigio

Water

Seriously.

* * * * *

Now I'm off to start my shopping for this year's feast. There will be carts to push, bags to drag in to the house, overflow items that won't fit into the fridge (thank goodness for a cold garage), and a billion dishes to wash before these ingredients coalesce into a delicious meal.

But they will. Just as in so many years past, my family and I will soon sit down to a Thanksgiving table groaning with all our favorite dishes and our plates will look comfortingly familiar.

News Trend Chicago: The Gorilla And The Flamingo|Actual

What started out asa week's visit to my second-born in Columbus, Ohio,

somehow turned into a road trip to Chicago.

Not only did we squeeze an amazing amount of sightseeing into forty-eight hours,

but we stayed a mere block away from my former office and retraced

the streets and sights of my life in Chicago

all those many years ago.

The Gorilla doubles as a jungle gym and kids are often found climbing up and sliding down the statue's... Arms? Legs? Whatever they might be.

^ I've gone on record saying that if I had only one hour to spend in Chicago, I would spend it at the Bean

But if I had only five minutes, I would go see the Gorilla.

Picasso's Gorilla.

Now let me set the record straight. This amazing steel sculpture is fifty feet tall and a gift from the genius Pablo Picasso himself, but it is officially untitled.

Many people refer to it as "the Picassodanquot;, but to me, it's always the Gorilla.

^ As a senior in college, I interviewed across the street from the gorilla in this building on the left, known as 69 West Washington and home of my future employer, Arthur Andersen & Co. I was sold on that job before I even flew into town, but during my interview, as I looked out the windows facing Daley Plaza and met eyes with the Cubist creature that seemed all but alive, I knew this was exactly where I was meant to be.

* * * * *

Between me and my daughter, we took several billion shots of the pretty bird.

^ Just a few blocks south on Dearborn stands Alexander Calder's Flamingo, and this is where I would spend my second five minutes.

Another steel beast by another breath-takingly influential artist, this elegant bird comes in just a few feet taller than my gorilla. Her name is official and she is the big sister to another Calder closer to my  current home, and near and dear to my heart.

That signature Calder red is what sets this scene on fire for me and I can't get enough of the fluid, flamboyant shape of Flamingo framed by the rigid black steel lines of the buildings around her.

^Oftentimes as I was walking between my office and a client's location, I would plot my route so I could walk past Flamingo. Even on the coldest winter days, a peek at this beauty would warm me up. And sometimes I would stop here at this modestly, strikingly elegant low-rise building which is none other than a post office.

* * * * *

Now maybe my obsession with these two creatures can be written off as nostalgia or warped memories from the eighties. I wouldn't necessarily argue that. But my daughter quickly fell in love with them too, and we visited them both several times during our short stay in Chicago.

The Gorilla and the Flamingo. They are worth my first five minutes and so much more.

* * * * *

Read more stories about my long overdue reunion with the city with big shoulders:

The Bean

Italian Village

The Gorilla And The Flamingo

Doughnut Vault

Wells Street Bridge

The Rookery

Flamingo Again

Wabash Arts Corridor

The Berghoff

Glossier Pop-Up

News Trend I Want To Understand|Actual

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. -Marie Curie

If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better. -Lyndon Johnson

Can you explain it to me?

Happy Election Day

I love to vote.

The fair state of Washington produces a Voters Pamphlet that could easily be subtitled: Everything You Ever Needed To Know About This Year's Election * But Were Afraid To Ask.

This booklet lays out details about each candidate's personal background, history and work experience, and a personal statement explaining whatever this person wants to say. Usually, they explain why they want this office, what problems they see in the world, what they hope to accomplish. The smart ones tell you what they have already accomplished. There's almost always a photo. And the candidate's political party affiliation is noted

Party affiliation is an important piece of the puzzle. It's a shorthand descriptor of the candidate's sense of where the problems lie, and what kind of solutions are preferred. A party handle affiliates the candidate with other political players and identifies with whom this candidate plans to team up.

I pore over these details, evaluating both content and context, adding the pieces together to draw some conclusions about how this person might represent me.

I find the process fascinating.

But this is not the whole process.

Because before I can properly evaluate how the candidates might represent me, I need to take stock my own values.

Can you explain it to me?

My values are shaped by my faith.

I'm a Christian.

I rely on God to help me know right from wrong.

And this is what he tells me.

Love.

God is love.

We are called to love

And love is always the answer.

Here are a few Bible verses that back me up:

Jesus said, ??Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.? This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ?Love others as well as you love yourself.? These two commands are pegs; everything in God?S Law and the Prophets hangs from them.? -Matthew 22

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. -1 John 3

My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. -1 John 4

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. -John 13

I understand that it's not necessary to be a Christian to make this distinction, and to make a choice for love. Many people value love and kindness, generosity and care, even if they don't use a Bible reference to back themselves up.

Can you explain it to me?

This election year is unusual.

Our nation is caught up in a storm of hate.

Our president speaks hate about women, children, and people of different nations, religions, skin colors, or countries of origin.

This is not my opinion.

It's a proven and highly verifiable fact.

Here's?An example pulled fresh from today's news; Google can provide many more.

And yet today we have on our ballots candidates who want to work with him, who align themselves through party affiliation to be on his team, to further his goals, to embolden his hate.

For the life of me, I can't understand this.

Why would any candidate want to work alongside a man filled with hate?

Why would any voter want to be represented by officials who align themselves with hate?

And why would any Christian who understands God's powerful call to love want to cast a vote for anyone that condones hate?

I want to understand this.

Can you explain it to me?

I understand that it's not necessary to be a Christian to make this distinction, and to make a choice for love. Many people value love and kindness, generosity and care, even if they don't use a Bible reference to back themselves up.

Can you explain it to me?

This election year is unusual.

Our nation is caught up in a storm of hate.

Our president speaks hate about women, children, and people of different nations, religions, skin colors, or countries of origin.

This is not my opinion.

It's a proven and highly verifiable fact.

Here's an example pulled fresh from today's news; Google can provide many more.

And yet today we have on our ballots candidates who want to work with him, who align themselves through party affiliation to be on his team, to further his goals, to embolden his hate.

For the life of me, I can't understand this.

Why would any candidate want to work alongside a man filled with hate?

Why would any voter want to be represented by officials who align themselves with hate?

And why would any Christian who understands God's powerful call to love want to cast a vote for anyone that condones hate?

I want to understand this.

Can you explain it to me?

Friday, July 10, 2020

News Trend Chicago: Doughnut Vault |Actual

What started out asa week's visit to my second-born in Columbus, Ohio,

somehow turned into a road trip to Chicago.

Not only did we squeeze an amazing amount of sightseeing into forty-eight hours,

but we stayed a mere block away from my former office and retraced

the streets and sights of my life in Chicago

all those many years ago.

Hot coffee and a jelly doughnut on a street corner in October. Our best life.

^ If you traipse all the way to the northwest corner of the Loop, march back around the far corner of the enormous Merchandise Mart and loop back underneath its shadow and look for a tiny blue door, you will find yourself in the magical presence of the Doughnut Vault.

This is an old fashioned. I bought it mostly because I thought it was cute.

It's a cozy, teeny tiny gem of a place that was indeed once a vault and now sparkles with a glitzy chandelier and a gilded mirror as it dispenses with over-the-top artisan doughnuts.

I don't even like doughnuts but a quick scroll through the shop's Instagram tags convinced me that I needed to go.

Cheers to that one dollar cup of coffee. I hear it is a treat.

And so we did. The photo ops weren't quite so lovely, since a portable shelter had been erected around that darling blue door in anticipation of winter winds. On the other hand, the cooler temps kept away the crowds that often wind round the block and buy out the days's supply of doughnuts before everyone gets a turn.

Cute blue mini window? Check.

Hand-lettered menu? Also check.

Adorable blue double door with the transom lettered "Enter" in gold?

Hiding behind a tarp. Sigh.

But we were happy to have made the trek, and to munch our sweet treats on the sidewalk as the buildings soared overhead and imagine what other little surprises we might find in our next adventure around town.

My mirror shot captures the whole of the vault; I'm at the coffee and water stand; at the far end

of the shop is the doughnut counter; on the left, the blue doors mark the half way point of the shop.

It's cozy and cute beyond words.

* * * * *

For a real treat, check out these collections of Doughnut Vault pics, much better than mine:

1 | 2 | 3

* * * * *

Read more stories about my long overdue reunion with the city with big shoulders:

The Bean

Italian Village

The Gorilla And The Flamingo

Doughnut Vault

Wells Street Bridge

The Rookery

Flamingo Again

Wabash Arts Corridor

The Berghoff

Glossier Pop-Up