News Trend Holiday Bakers Beware|Actual

My eldest sent me this photo of our patient, recovering on the couch from her syok,

 apparently none the worse for wear.

"Hello, this is All Creatures Veterinary, Brittany speaking. How can I help you?"

Hi. I'm calling because my dog just ate a full-size bag of Hershey kisses, foil wrappers and all.

"Well. She's a rascal."

Yeah, that's one word for it. I'm not too concerned about the chocolate because she's eaten a lot of chocolate before and not been sick. But I'm a little concerned about how all that fooil might play through her digestive system.

"Yes, you need to make her throw up right away."

Ummm okay. How exactly do I do that?

"First of all, you'll need a turkey baster and some hydrogen peroxide?"

* * * * *

Thus I found myself on the phone at my student's house, while she labored over her midterm exam, consulting with my first- and fourth-born daughters at home as they ran out to buy said turkey baster, loaded it up with hydrogen peroxide, and administered the maximum dosage before Gracie's iron gut finally wavered.

She then erupted like Mount Vesuvius, so I'm told, and deposited untidy heaps around the patio that my poor dry-heaving daughters were left to inspect and analyze.

We certainly wanted to be sure she was empty.

Reports are that Gracie bounced back immediately after her treatment, and by the time I got home an hour later, she was her usual happy, wiggling self.

And the entire Streicher family has now been served notice: even a sealed plastic bag of chocolate, pushed all the way to the back of the counter, is not safe around our red-headed eating machine,  Let the holiday bakers beware.

News Trend Lights|Actual

"We are not here to curse the darkness, but to light a candle that can

guide us through the darkness to a safe and sane future."

- John F. Kennedy

At Christmas time, I normally channelmy inner Buddy the Elf who just wants to deck the heck out of every inch of my halls with delicious holiday decor.

But this year, more than ever before, I needed something different.

Peace

Order

Serenity

Calm

I wanted my home to reflect my heart's desire for a simple, tranquil, minimally cluttery holiday. So I left 99.9% of my usual holiday swag in storage and I focused on light.

^ With my daughters' help, I swept aside as much of the everyday clutter as humanly possible, and tossed out strings of lights here, there and everywhere.

Spilling off rows of books,

^ Hanging from door and window frames,

^ Cascading through the greenery,

^ Twinkling along the counter tops,

^ Whispering out into the night sky.

On Christmases to come, it's a good bet that I will revert to form, dragging out my boxes of snowflakes and garlands and paper chains and tinsel, and gracing the house with glittery goodness.

And that will be fun too.

But for this year, I'm perfectly content with the lights.

News Trend 2016 Ornament of the Year|Actual

Hey, here's an idea for a handmade Christmas ornament.

Cut tiny plastic straws into unmanageably short lengths.

Watch them zing around the room as you do so, and have fun collecting the valuable bits from

under tables

behind the couch

in the corners of the fireplace

on the windowsills

under the sleeping dog.

Good luck with cleaning off all the dust and dog hair, too.

Measure out a long arm's length of thin florist's wire.

Try to not poke out your eye as you cut it off the spool.

Feed the wire this way and that through the tiny straws, following a sequence of increasingly complex diagrams

Try not to kink the wire or it will no longer slide through the straw segments

But don't worry; you can always cut the wires on your mistakes and start over.

Keep some tissues nearby as you may just shed a few tears.

But. If every step of this long and tedious process goes well:

Hold your breath through the final step, as your flat formation of triangles suddenly transforms into a three-dimensional delight.

Hang it on the tree where its airy and mathematically pleasing design stands apart from every other ornament in your collection.

Then sit back down and get to work. Because you are going to need to make ninety-nine more of these angels before you are done.

And every single one will make you smile.

* * * * *

For more Ornament of the Year posts, check these out:

2017

2015

2014

2013

2012

2011

News Trend Anatomy Of A Birthday|Actual

When it comes to birthdays, I love to go all out. For my daughters' birthdays,  the sky's the limit. IN the name of birthday fun, we've adventured all over Seattle, eaten cupcakes on the ferry, explored new beaches, chased down favorite restaurant meals, skied Stevens Pass, flown to Cabo. Once I even went to Vietnam for a birthday celebration.

But my birthday is a little bit different.

My birthday comes on New Year's Day, after the long build-up to Christmas, the major pay-out on the twenty-fifth, and another full week of holiday extravagance, not to mention New Year's Eve. This year's festivities leveled up even higher with a much-anticipated homecoming from my Asian-dwelling third-born, who packed back up her suitcase and headed back across the Pacific Ocean to Seoul on the last day of 2017.

Which all goes to show that by the time my birthday rolls around, most of the celebratory air has already been let out of the balloon.

That's fine by me. This year, as usual, I was ready for a relaxing, reflective, restorative birthday and that is exactly what I got.

* * * * *

I slept until I felt rested. I slowly eased into my day by reading, petting my big shaggy dog who was still stretched out lazily across the bed, and wondered about the new year ahead of me..

I found two bouquets of birthday flowers on my nightstand. .

Around one p.M., I went downstairs to discover my husband parked in front of the television. Those college bowl games don't just watch themselves, ya know, so he was doing what was necessary. I ate a sandwich, wandered around the house, made some to-do lists in my head, and took Gracie on a walk.

The sky was blue; the air was crisp and cold.

By early evening, my daughters returned home from their retail workplaces. They pulled off their coats, scavenged for snacks, and told me about their days. Even though it was my birthday, I gave them a break and cooked dinner myself. Just felt like the right thing to do.

I tried a new pasta recipe and it was fantastic.

Then we had cake and presents and one short movie because everyone was tired and facing an early morning next day. By 10:30 p.M., everyone in the family was tucked in bed and sound asleep for the night.

Including Gracie.

* * * * *

And while I will be the very first one to admit that that was a pretty ordinary and uneventful birthday, it was just the one that I wanted and needed. I'm glad I went all out.

News Trend Away On A Sofa|Actual

Yesterday was the twelfth and final day of Christmas.

Please allow me to gaji the close of this festive and holy season with a song.

Ah-h-hem. *clears throat*

^ I do not think my dog is Baby Jesus. But I do think she is ridiculously cute.

Away on a sofa

No crib for a bed

The little lass Gracie

Lay down her sweet head

The star from the ceiling

Looks down where she lay

The little lass Gracie

Asleep on the gray.

And one last time, let me wish you

Merry Christmas

Peace On Earth

and Goodwill To All Men

[and Dogs]

News Trend Confessions Of A Crazy Plant Lady|Actual

Page Doctor Freud.

Dial up the crisis hotline. Or

Cue me up a podcast that will help me learn to cope

Because I have got a serious masalah.

With houseplants.

Allow me to illustrate.

As you walk through my front door, this is what you will see:

A series of four big jungly plants standing in a row and soaking up sunshine along my living room window. Each plant is supposed to be crisp and distinct; the overall effect is designed to be orderly and clean.

However, there is a fatal flaw in the execution of this plan that becomes quite apparent when you look a bit closer.

Several dozen interlopes have wandered in.

Succulents.

Cacti

Trailers

Tree types

You name it

During the dark Pacific Northwest winter, these invaders have all come here seeking a place in the sunny south side window. In order to fit them all in, a second table has been wedged in behind the first, and still  plants overflow onto the floor. Together, they create a muddled, unseemly mess and I don't like how this looks at all.

But let's be honest. These plants didn't walk in here on their own. I stashed them here because they desperately needed more sun than they were getting elsewhere in the house. And as much as I like to pretend that someday I will move them back, I also know that is not true. These plants simply will not thrive anywhere but here, and that gives me a huge dilema.

I have more plants than my house can handle.

Not one or two more plants.

At least twenty too many.*

I hear what you're saying.

Give them away.

Find new owners on Craigslist or pass them out to your friends.

Lots of people would love a free plant.

They will be happy in their new homes

And I see the wisdom of that. But I can't.

They are my children, my gorgeous leafy and sometimes prickly green children, and they love living here in this glorious sunshine.

I can't part with them. But I can't live with them like this either.

And so I contemplate my problem and try out new arrangements and consider buying grow lights, and those are all reasonable ways to resolve this mess.

But here comes the dysfunctional part.

I want to buy more plants.

Oh yes, I do.

And if someone doesn't come and take away my debit card, or possibly break my arm, I'm going out on Monday to buy one more plant.

And when I say one, I probably mean five.

So please, someone tell Doctor Freud to fluff the pillows on his couch and keep the inkblots handy because I truly, desperately need help.

* There are at least ten more interloping plants currently being held in my bathtub upstairs. I don't know what to do with them, either.

* * * * *

In my opinion, you can never have too many succulents, and you can never have too many stories about succulents. Here are a few to choose from:

Court And Kylee's Succulent Party

Succulent Season

Franklin Park Conservatory

Confessions Of A Crazy Plant Lady

Pallet Possibilities

Another Rainy Day

Growing Things

This Is War

All In A Day's Work

Design Dilemmas

Wait For It

Shopping Spree

Saturday Spring Satisfaction

Sprouts

Tiny Tinsel Tree

Biology 101

Little Things

News Trend Good And Right|Actual

"I love to cook, and I love to have all my family around the dinner table." -Julia Roberts

A few years ago, I started another tradition. See those photos at the far end of the table? They are members of our family who were born in January and have now passed on to the next life. I like to have them with me too.

With my third-born back home for a week over Christmas, I quickly and easily slipped back into my old habit of setting six plates on the table. It felt good and right to do so.

Now it's January. Even though my adventuring daughter has long since hopped a plane back to South Korea, I am still setting a place for her. This may seem silly, odd, or downright neurotic to those who do not have offspring living on the Asian continent, but for me, it feels good and right to do so.

I reset the table every night after dinner and swap the plates around so the sixth plate

doesn't get dusty. Because that would be weird.

Her plate silently reminds me that, in time, she will be back. And that too feels good and oh, so right.