News Trend Fresh Air|Actual

I thank you god for most this amazing

day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

- e e cummings

When your father dies

And he was a bad dad

You reflect, one more time, upon your hopes and dreams about what a father should be to his daughter, and you admit to yourself, with trembling finality, just how far he fell short.

And yes, you find a way to make your peace with that storm.

He did the best he could.

And now with his life finally over, you shudder one last sigh and acknowledge, for once and for all, what a futile, pathetic waste it all was.

No way to go back,

No way to dodge the damage.

No way to create a happy ending.

But at long last, the storm is over. The last waves of sadness and loss ripple away to the edge of the pond and the water settles. You have made your peace.

But then, most unexpectedly, a new breeze begins to blow across still waters.

There is a brother.

A new brother.

A secret brother.

A half-brother.

Who has borne his own losses in the sad wreckage of his father's life.

My father's life. Our father's life.

While nothing will take away from the gusts and gales of our pasts, there is hope that good might come in our future.

And that thought is a glimpse of clear blue sky and a beautiful breath of fresh air.

* * * * *

Stories about my less-than-perfect dad:

Father's Day Musings About A Bad Dad

My Mother And Me

Spinning God Out Of Straw

Fresh Air

Hockey Night In Canada

News Trend Christmas Tree-Hunting Blues|Actual

Red-Headed Soul Mates

2016

He's not one for laughing out loud, but I saw the hint of a smile on my husband's face as he gunned the accelerator for effect, scattering a satisfying spray of gravel across the pavement.

Our hunt for a Christmas tree had indeed assumed somewhat epic proportions. The first tree farm was sold out; the second one had a line-up of at least a hundred cars - no joke - waiting to get in. That's when we held an impromptu family pow wow, agreed to double down on one last farm, and conducted a quick roadside Yelp session to find another option and make our Christmas dreams come true.

We really were on a mission from God

And thankfully, He provided.

^ Finally we found ourselves in a field full of lovely options. But before we get into the delicate negotiations of selecting a tree, there's some Instagramming to be done.

^ There are advantages to late afternoon tree-shopping: sunlight filtered through the trees and brilliant highlights shimmered on each delicate needle.

^ Peace signs, hack saws, and two daughters happy to finally be out of the car.

^ Fish Creek Tree Farm did not disappoint. The Christmas tree of our dreams was soon harvested, paid for, and strapped to the top of our car.

Our mission from God was successfully completed.

Now, if only my daughters would catch up on their 1980s comedy so they could understand my clever reference.

And if you're up for a fascinating report on the making of the movie, read this.

* * * * *

More Christmas tree farm adventures:

2018 | Christmas Absurdities

2017 | Red-Headed Soul Mates

2016 | Christmas Tree-Hunting Blues

2015 - Tree Hunting

2014 | Hunting the Perfect Christmas Tree

2013 | A Vegan Murder

2012 | The Christmas Tree Farm Revisited

News Trend It's Snowing!|Actual

My climbing rose captures the first few flakes and sparkles in the light of Christmas.

It's snowing!

High in the dark night sky,

Clouds accumulate

Perfect six-sided snowflakes form within

And slowly, silently, begin their descent.

Down through the frigid air

Snowflakes fall

Blanketing the ground in their pure joy

And filling our hearts with inexplicable happiness.

It's snowing!

* * * * *

My first-ever post was all about snow and you can r ead it here.

News Trend From Good To Great|Actual

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full.

Scratch where it itches." -Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I have such an attitude about Christmas decorations this year.

Well. Let's be honest. I have an attitude about pretty much everything these days.

Less is more.

So when it came time to splash some holiday cheer on this little corner of my world - the place where I probably spend the most waking hours of anywhere in my home - I just could not bring myself to drag out the usual tinsel and fanfare.

I tossed up a tree trunk garland, purchased for a song from a Target clearance aisle, and I tucked a tiny little Merry Christmas message into the preexisting art arrangement.

That precious dollop was a gift from a word-art-loving math mom. Bless you, Julie

I'd like to say that I thoughtfully added the splash of ivy and two white vases to bring some life and round contours to the composition.

But that would be a lie.

Truth is that I pulled those vases from another room where they were no longer needed and set them down by the sink till I figured out where to put them next. And when I came back a few minutes later, I decided that they looked fine right where they were, and crossed that challenge off my to-do list.

Bam. Problem solved. Moving on.

And you know, compared to what I've done other years, this Christmas display is next to nothing.

But guess what. Next to nothing is suiting me just fine.

But what happened next was a stroke of genius. When I came back into the kitchen to make dinner, I impulsively grabbed a bit of greenery from a nearby vase and wedged it into the arrangement.

So happy with that decision.

The moral of the story is that less is still more. But there's nothing like a tree branch to take a simple Christmas look from good to great.

News Trend Making Science Cool|Actual

I went to my husband's office holiday party last weekend.

He's an accountant.

For a company of research scientists.

Images of dweebs with pocket protectors and glasses taped at the bridges of their noses, standing around in somber circles making agonizingly inept small talk, must surely swirl through the mind of anyone who hears those facts, but the truth is a big surprise.

This is a total hipster scene.

Located in Seattle's trendy South Lake Union neighborhood, Institute of Systems Biology is on the cutting edge of scientific research. These people make science cool.

ISB networks with other systems labs around the world to coordinate research.

A focus on lab-to bedside care emphasizes real-life needs and a human touch.

An education team works with high school science teachers to gear students up for 21st centurt science careers.

Also, their party planning game is totally on point.

But even as the crowd of a hundred or so hipster scientists turned an on-animo cocktail and dinner gathering into a well-lubricated dance party, my curiosity led me elsewhere.

Show me around the office, I asked my husband.

So off we went on a tour.

^ Now even though my husband is signing paychecks rather than peering through a microscope, I've always entertained the fantasy that he spends his days shoulder to shoulder to Bill Nye the Science Guy types, all the way down to the white lab coats. I was so happy to find racks of fresh specimens hung here and there around the hallways.

^ Beakers always make me want to be a chemist.

^ Yes, that is a giant wookie magnet on that piece of probably expensive and entirely legitimate lab equipment. Oh my gosh, nerds really do work here.

^ Personalized lab coats hanging on the backs of the chairs, waiting for another day of rigorous research to begin. I can only hope that there is a pair of goggles stashed in the pocket of each one.

^ "Watch out for the bio zones," my husband casually intoned. I have never encountered a bio zone before. I was impressed.

^ Even the kitchen area looks ready for some high level dissections and chemical mayhem.

^ Finally, my husband escorted me to the place where the real ISB magic happens.

His office.

He's the finance director for the company.

And he shares his space with the lead IT guy.

They have done some great things with the place.

Family photos.

Quotes from favorite TV shows.

More monitors and keyboards than two men could possibly power up and use on an average day.

A collection of rocks that visitors often rearrange and stack into towers.

And while there are no lab coats, chemical compounds or hazard warnings in sight, the truth is that not much scientific research would get done without cash and computers.

Which means that - just as much as any scientist - these guys are making science cool too.

News Trend A Wonderful Trip|Actual

I'll be honest. I was dreading the trip over the pass.

After a spring, summer, and fall of daylight trips over the sun-sparkled Cascade Mountains, I fully expected that Snoqualmie Pass in November would present me a complete package of alpine driving challenges.

Pounding rain

Turning to heavy snow flurries

Pitch black pre-dawn skies

Heavy traffic

Construction lane closures

Steep grades

Tight mountain curves

And that's exactly what I got.

Oh. Plus intermittent patches of blinding fog. I didn't see that one coming.

White-knuckling the steering wheel, I held my breath for 45 treacherous miles and held on for dear life, cursing the gods of winter weather and wondering if my family would find my list of passwords after I'd crashed.

Then several things happened all at once.

The ground leveled out beneath my wheels. The steeply sloped forests finally fell away and the interstate zipped smoothly along the open and gently rolling Palouse.

The sun burst out from behind a ridge of clouds and the world was bathed in glorious golden light.

And my heart, so heavily burdened with gloom, overflowed with lightness and joy.

Something tells me there's a moral to this story, a lesson learned, a truth to be taken and stored away for future wisdom.

I don't really care too much about that.

All I want to tell you is that it turned out to be a wonderful trip after all.

News Trend Apart For The Holiday|Actual

My Asian adventurer.

Late November has rolled around once again and another holiday season is about to unfold. Our thoughts inevitably turn to what matters most.

Family.

Like people all around the planet and throughout all time, on these special festival days we crave the company of our families and we ache for those who cannot be with us.

I miss many of my dearly departed family members - my grandfather who carved many a turkey in his handmade cable knit sweater vests, my good German grandmother who served heaping holiday relish trays of homemade pickled beets and peppers. I feel bittersweet nostalgia for my mother's holiday disappointments because real life never quite lived up to her longings.

But I do not miss my third-born daughter.

Well. Of course I miss her. Every mother knows the hole we feel in our hearts whenever our sons and daughters are away from us.

There is always an empty place at the table for her, an empty chair that belongs to her.

But I do not regret her absence or mourn for her to be with us. Because she is doing something important.

She is following her dreams.

She is changing the world.

She is obeying God's call into her life.

And every day I celebrate the way she lives her life.

Even if she is far away from me.

So on Thanksgiving Day, I will raise a glass in her name and give thanks for her. I will probably Facetime her and hear about how she spent her Thanksgiving away from us.

Then, in the end, I will look at that empty chair and smile. Because for right now, even though we are apart for the holidays, she is exactly where she is supposed to be.

And soon she will be home for Christmas.