News Trend Birthday Surprise|Actual

My husband is a pretty practical guy.

Not the type to covet luxury items, his birthday wish lists usually lead off with Cabella jeans and plaid flannel shirts, followed by options for Starbucks gift cards and dark chocolate candy bars.

But this year, two weeks before his big day, my frugal spouse told me he wanted a $270 chess set.

It's historic, he explained. The pieces are modeled after the very first chess set and constructed from a valuable resin from some weird place. Honestly, I don't remember much of what he said because my brain was experiencing a full-on state of shock:

Is. He. Even. Kidding. Me.

Precious days ticked by as I contemplated this uncharacteristic idea. Oh, the money wasn't my main concern. Dropping a few hundred bucks for a gift is definitely far beyond our normal birthday budget, but for a special request, we could manage the indulgence.

What I genuinely and sincerely questioned was how my budget-balancing finance director of a partner would embrace this whim once he saw the outflow of cash in his bank transactions.

He'll change his mind, I hypothesized. This is a passing fancy, and by the time his birthday rolls around, he'll forget all about this swanky Historic Chess Set and opt for an L.L. Bean online shopping spree instead.

Well. I was dead wrong.

* * * * *

On Monday afternoon, thirty-six hours before the Big Day, I checked in again. So what are you thinking about your gift? I casually probed.

"I sent you the link for the chess set two weeks ago," he stated.

Okay, I continued. So you're sure you still want that?

"I wouldn't have sent you the link if I wasn't sure."

Alright. Point taken, Mr. Nothing-but-the-Facts.

Fifteen minutes later, Amazon was processing the order and my fate had been cast.

* * * * *

But now I faced the classic post-terbaru gift-giving dilemma: While the ordered-online-at-the-last-minute item is still in transit, what will the recipient unwrap on his actual birthday?

I'm a stickler for a timely birthday ceremony and it's essential to me and my nurturing instincts that family celebrations include an actual, physical gift to be unwrapped. Now, we're all adults these days, and have developed sufficient self-control for second-day shipping, but in my view of the universe, there simply MUST be some representation of the gift on the dinner table for the birthday boy [or girl] to unwrap.

I pondered this duduk perkara deeply, and while driving home from a student's house on the afternoon of my husband's birthday, the solution came to me in a vision.

A photograph of a pink prawn against a white background, cut to a three-inch square.

Effortlessly, the whole plan of what I would do fell right into place.

^ As the birthday ceremony unfolded, I presented my husband with a wrapped gift box [not shown.] Inside, tucked among the handfuls of those crinkly bits of accordion-folded paper squiggles were sixteen small envelopes, sealed tightly shut, with one letter printed on each face. My husband fished them out and stared at me blankly.

First, I declared, you must arrange the envelopes to spell out a secret message.

^ Well done. Now, open each envelope and take out what's inside. The order no longer matters, so you can mix them up.

Luckily, my husband always carries a Swiss Army Knife in his pocket for moments such as these. You never know when you might need to slash through some washi tape, darn it. Better safe than sorry.

 ^ Now, each photo you see is a clue. Figure out the pattern of the clues, and arrange the photos into the proper order.

Folding his jackknife and tucking it back into his pocket as he scowled at the cards, the birthday boy muttered to himself for a few seconds until suddenly he smiled, and we all literally HEARD the light bulb click on in his head. With a few deft maneuverings, he positioned the cards just so.

^ Yep, he got it right. Each photo relates to a piece of a chess set:

Billie Jean KING

Freddie Mercury from QUEEN

Joey BISHOP

Bobby KNIGHT

Nathan Fillion from CASTLE

and eight perfect pink P(r)AWNS

The master strategist understood the need to place these unconventional game pieces in their proper location, as if readying them for a round of chess.

Now flip over the cards in their current positions and a new message will reveal your gift.

^ Ta daaa! We bought you that chess set!

At this point in the treasure hunt, my husband was not particularly shocked by my final message. But as he pointed out, he does enjoy solving puzzles and did not mind working so hard to reveal the truth about his mysterious birthday surprise.

News Trend Our Friend, Brian Raven|Actual

In the end, I think it was exactly what he would have wanted.

Oh sure, he made it clear that he didn't want a memorial service. Anyone who knew him for more than five minutes could have called that. He was always one to lay aside any direct praise or recognition, preferring to let his jokes and quick wit direct attention back to either his students or his subject matter.

But all of us whose lives were touched, enriched and beautifully transformed by this man needed a way to come together and talk about his life, so that is what we did.

Photo credit: Heidi Conahan

Here at Edmonds Beach, on the shore of his beloved Puget Sound, is where the friends of Brian Raven gathered yesterday to mark his passing and to honor his life. By any accounting, he was a complex man, and the stories we told one another barely began to capture the outlandish dimensions of his personality and skill set.

Yes, Brian was an amazing teacher. After all, that's how most of us came to know him - for the last couple decades, Brian has wandered Snohomish County, teaching science classes for homeschooled kids of all ages. Many of his students, like my daughters, studied with him for all their schooling years and loved him like a favorite uncle.

But Brian was also an education rebel who steadfastly refused to fit into the traditional straight-jacket of typical K-12 teachers. Now, make no mistake, Brian was a gifted and effective teacher. His classroom style was effortlessly fluid and adaptable, he could manage a room full of high-spirited boys like a seasoned cowboy roping a day-old calf, and he had a special knack for making each student feel included and important. Though the idea was often suggested or even pressed, Brian balked at the notion of getting proper teaching credentials; he stuck to the principle that science is best taught by scientists rather than professional educators, and in doing so, won the devotion and admiration of countless like-minded homeschooling parents.

Photo credit: Heidi Conahan

Brian was a passionate scientist. His infectious enthusiasm for the natural world lit us all on fire, and his curiosity for exploring that world through boating, whale watching, hiking, kayaking, scuba diving and photographing it all brought us into his fascinating universe. In his classes and frequent field trips, Brian never went soft on content; he held his students to high standards and delivered sophisticated scientific concepts and precise vocabulary to his kids right from the start.

And to his students' infinite delight, Brian was a jokester extraordinaire. His quick wit and lightning-fast mind produced a never-ending flow of puns and word play; he invented wildly creative nicknames for his students and peppered his lessons with so much lively banter that his students learned effortlessly. Brian's wacky sense of humor made the leap to the world outside the classroom; his students all got used to hearing their pet nicknames and favorite punch lines booming down the hallways and echoing through the courtyards as Brian encountered them around school.

Photo credit: Emma Streicher

These thoughts filled my mind as I stood on the beach yesterday, acutely aware of the natural beauty around me, this affectionate gathering, and this larger-than-life man that we all admired and loved. Sharing an open mic, we poured out our favorite memories of Brian and spoke of the gifts he has given us for a lifetime. I thought and thought and thought of what I might say, but in the end, I decided to tell my favorite story of Brian here, where I can treasure it forever.

* * * * *

Brian could go toe-to-toe with the sassiest, naughtiest, attention-seeking students on the planet, but he could also be incredibly sensitive and sweet with his more tender-hearted students. My daughters treasured this side of his personality, and felt safe in knowing that Brian would never embarrass them or take his teasing too far.

One day, as I sat in the back of his classroom, as mothers often did, soaking up the scientific goodness and laughing along with the usual barrage of snot jokes, I witnessed a remarkable example of Brian's gentle soul.

Twelve-year-old Harry was frustrated. Following along as Brian showed the class how to cut shapes from construction paper to make a contoh of the ear, Harry was intensely focused on getting the pieces to fit together just right. But Harry's handiwork was not meeting his own exacting standards, and his Asperger's condition set in motion an instantaneous red-hot meltdown.

Undoubtedly, Brian saw this coming, as he had known Harry and his volatile moods for many years. Brian's reaction was immediate and intuitive. Calming his classroom voice from a 10 to a 2 and bringing all his concentration to the crisis at hand, Brian encouraged Harry to make peace with his creation. "Yours is really good. See how it curves just like mine? You did a great job."

Poor Harry was not impressed. He pointed out flaws in his work, and flailed despondently in his seat.

"If you want, you can try again, There's plenty of paper," Brian suggested gently.

Harry sulked. Tears began to flow.

The rest of the students were happily trimming out hammers, anvils and stirrups while Brian continued to focus completely on poor, sobbing Harry. "Hey, buddy. I have an idea. Do you want to use mine?"

His head suddenly lifted off the now-soggy desk. The storm clouds parted, and Harry's face beamed through the tracks of his tears. "Can I??"

"Here you go," Brian handed over his creation. Harry joyfully set about pasting it to his paper as Brian quickly snipped out a replacement, and returned to his broadcast about the workings of the inner ear, punctuated as always with jokes and puns galore.

* * * * *

Photo credit: Jennifer Thames

Photo credit: Jennifer Thames

This is who Brian Raven was:

a teacher,

a rebel,

a scientist,

a jokester and

a deeply sensitive, compassionate man.

This is why we gathered on a wide beach under a clear blue sky to celebrate his life.

And in the end, I think it was exactly what Brian would have wanted us to do.

News Trend A Quiet Morning In Danang|Actual

This story has been sitting in my draft folder for almost a year. Half-written and passed over for a condensed version of this adventure, this timeline caught my eye tonight. I'm engrossed in preparations for my third annual trip to Danang, and at two weeks before my go-day, feeling a bit stressed about what I might be forgetting. Memories of this sunrise slow me down and remind me that, one way or another, I'll make it to the other side of the planet and everything really will be okay.

* * * * *

4:00 am  First alarm went off. Groaned.

4:10 am. Second and final alarm sounded. Groaned again. Got up and pulled myself together.

4:30 am. Met up with my posse, helmets on and ready to ride. Our bikes purred through the freakishly quiet streets of Danang under dark night skies.

4:40 am. We turned west and then north, crossing the Han River, passing through the still-sleeping town of Son Tra, and edging along the perimeter of the mountainous peninsula north of the city.

4:50 am. Passed an assortment of joggers, cyclists, and walkers who were taking their morning exercise. The first hints of daylight were gathering in the eastern skies.

Lima:00 am. Pulled off the road at an ideal viewpoint. While we hadn't reached the easternmost point on the peninsula, we had a fantastic watery view of the predawn skies.

5:05 am. Clouds gathered and threatened to diminish our view. Distracted myself by taking a few shots of predawn fishing boats.

5:10 am. Still waiting. Took photos of flowers.

Then, in the blink of an eye, the sun burst through the hazy clouds on the horizon and flooded the day with light. And in that instant, a quiet morning in Danang came alive.

News Trend Lessons From Triangles|Actual

This piece of art has been teaching me a lesson.

Inspired by a graphic print named Big Pieces and created by Little Studio Design, I decided to tweak the original to improvise my own version.

Which I did. The finished product is now hanging on the wall of my home office, just behind my left shoulder as I write these words. Family and friends have given my handiwork the thumbs up and you'd think I would have moved on to the Happily Ever After phase of our life together.

But those bright triangles speak to me, humble me, knock me down to size whenever I walk past.

Here's why.

See, I made this piece by cutting triangles from paint chips. Making precise measurements and using my paper cutter with extreme care, I did everything in my power to create triangles that were exactly the same size, and would therefore fit together perfectly in the composition.

Perfect.

Exact.

Precise.

I was not interested in "close enough."

And though I brought all my mathematical skills OCD tendencies to bear on this puzzle, I did not succeed in creating perfection. There are, in several places, tiny white gaps between the triangles. And where the tips of several triangles meet, they are, in several places, slightly misaligned.

Oy vey.

As I discovered this ugly truth, my daughters consoled me. "Pish," they said comfortingly, "That's nothing...We barely notice those tiny imperfections."

But I noticed them. And I stewed over them.

I peeled some of the triangles off and reglued them.

I recut several triangles to make them fit more exactly.

I considered starting over.

I thought about throwing the whole thing out.

But a little voice from the triangles - a voice much wiser than the crazy voices inside my head - said, Stop. Let it be.

And I realized that this creation had become a poignant metaphor for one of my most persistent faults.

Perfectionism.

If life is a colorful mosaic of hand-cut triangles - and I'm willing to entertain that notion - then a few tiny white gaps between the pieces are to be expected. Compared to the bold colors, delicate symmetry and pleasing proportions of the shapes, those white slivers are nothing. In fact, one might even argue that the lines of white imperfection draw more attention to the lively triangles which they outline, adding to their rambunctious spirits.

From that observation, it's not much of a leap to see the lesson laid out before my eyes. Imperfections are not only a part of life, but they increase the delight of our days.

Okay, okay, okay. I get it. I understand. And deep down inside, I agree.

But still, every day as I walk past this piece, my eyes leap right to the gaps and I ask myself, once again, "Please can I rip off all the triangles and start over??"

No, my artwork answers me. Stop.Let it be.

Smart little triangles.

News Trend Bathroom Design Deadlock|Actual

Wanna see how my shower stall turned out? Read about it here

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

So. What if we switch out the negative associations of rectangular subway tile for some basic old-school square tiles? These 6x6 classics were all the rage during my formative years, and when I think "bathroom tile," they are always the first thing to hop into my head:

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

So. What if we switch out the negative associations of rectangular subway tile for some basic old-school square tiles? These 6x6 classics were all the rage during my formative years, and when I think "bathroom tile," they are always the first thing to hop into my head:

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

So. What if we switch out the negative associations of rectangular subway tile for some basic old-school square tiles? These 6x6 classics were all the rage during my formative years, and when I think "bathroom tile," they are always the first thing to hop into my head:

Source

So. What if we switch out the negative associations of rectangular subway tile for some basic old-school square tiles? These 6x6 classics were all the rage during my formative years, and when I think "bathroom tile," they are always the first thing to hop into my head:

On Choosing Bathroom Tile?By Little Green Notebook

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

On Choosing Bathroom Tile?By Little Green Notebook

And while I'm not first and foremost a animo surfer, I do love the fact that these old timers are making a comeback. Yep, it's once again hip to be square and I wouldn't mind hopping on that train.

Postscript | A lot of things have changed in the past thirty years, and it seems that grout is near the top of the list. Derek explained that today's grout is a completely different ball game: whereas the old grout was porous, the new grout is an epoxy and almost impenetrable; the old grout stained easily but the new grout will unerringly maintain its original color; and clean-up, as they say, is a breeze. I stand majorly corrected.

Source

Hmm. Eleven hours till Beth shows up on my doorstep, and I'm no closer to making up my mind. Let's hope she can work some magic with my indecisive brain, or I may be living with the studs and holes look for a while longer.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Source

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

On Choosing Bathroom Tile?By Little Green Notebook

But black fixtures are crazy on musim and they do make me swoon.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Source

Source

Realistically, I think my budget will have the last word on this decision. So yes, I will find a way to be happy with chrome.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Hmm. Eleven hours till Beth shows up on my doorstep, and I'm no closer to making up my mind. Let's hope she can work some magic with my indecisive brain, or I may be living with the studs and holes look for a while longer.

On Choosing Bathroom Tile?By Little Green Notebook

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

11 New Trends for the Bathroom?By Apartment Therapy

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

But black fixtures are crazy on musim and they do make me swoon.

Source

Still, I think this brass is more my style.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Source

Realistically, I think my budget will have the last word on this decision. So yes, I will find a way to be happy with chrome.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Hmm. Eleven hours till Beth shows up on my doorstep, and I'm no closer to making up my mind. Let's hope she can work some magic with my indecisive brain, or I may be living with the studs and holes look for a while longer.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

I've looked at a ridiculous number of posts featuring bathrooms, from the decadent to the basic DIY, and these are my most favorite ones:

11 New Trends for the Bathroom?By Apartment Therapy

On Choosing Bathroom Tile?By Little Green Notebook

But black fixtures are crazy on trend and they do make me swoon.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Still, I think this brass is more my style.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Realistically, I think my budget will have the last word on this decision. So yes, I will find a way to be happy with chrome.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

Hmm. Eleven hours till Beth shows up on my doorstep, and I'm no closer to making up my mind. Let's hope she can work some magic with my indecisive brain, or I may be living with the studs and holes look for a while longer.

Postscript musim, the simple combo of basic subway tile outlined in almost-black can go in quite a few different directions. My favorites are the simple running bond:

I've looked at a ridiculous number of posts featuring bathrooms, from the decadent to the basic DIY, and these are my most favorite ones:

11 New Trends for the Bathroom by Apartment Therapy

On Choosing Bathroom Tile by Little Green Notebook

News Trend A Splendid Afternoon|Actual

^ These are the plants that I bought to plant

on a sunny spring Friday at my house.

^ These are the black cats that came rushing out

to sniff at the plants that I bought to plant

on a sunny spring Friday at my house.

^ This is the tabby who made a round nest

near the black cats who came rushing

to sniff at the plants that I bought to plant

on a sunny spring Friday at my house

^ This is the red dog who snoozed in the shade,

ignoring the tabby who made a round nest

near the black cats who came rushing

to sniff at the plants that I bought to plant

on a sunny spring Friday at my house.

And we all had a splendid afternoon.

News Trend What Truly Matters About Moms|Actual

Another Mother's Day has come and gone, and as usual, I spent the day with my head full of thoughts.

^ My mom and me at the beginning.

I thought about my mom, and our complex, confusing, often conflicted relationship. Never imagined that her battle with dementia would level me up to a whole new understanding of our mother-daughter dynamic and bring me peace, but that's exactly what happened.

 ^ Little miss third born, at the wise age of three months.

^ My first born on her first birthday.

And I thought about my adventures as a mommy to my own four girls. Hard to wrap words around how much we have all grown and changed in their relatively short lifetimes. Hard to even remember who I was before they came along to make me a mom.

^ We mothers are as plentiful as flowers on a vine, and just as closely connected.

I thought about the beautiful sisterhood of mothers. Here's the thing - once a woman becomes a mother, her heart is permanently changed, and every other mother on the planet understands and shares in that transformation. No matter how different we may be in other ways, I feel a deep connection to any mom who shares her mother's heart with me.

And lastly, but perhaps most importantly of all, I thought about daughters who think about motherhood. Among the endless parade of sweet and loving Mother's Day posts that flitted through my social media feeds this weekend, many boldly claiming that this mother was the "best mom ever," the "coolest mom," or even "better than your mom," came this little pearl of wisdom and insight from one of my sixteen-year-old math students:

^ My algebra student, Natalie, and her perfect-for-her mommy.

"Happy Mothers Day Mom! I love you so so much and everyone talks about how they have the best mom in the entire world and let's be honest - to you, she is. God gives us a mother who is exactly what we need and want. I thank God every day that he gave me my mom because she is the best mom for me!"

Yes. YES. Thank you, Natalie Jean, for reminding us moms that mothering is an art and a science but never a competition. There are countless "rightdanquot; ways to be a mom, and an infinite number of moms who intuitively know what's best for their kids. And what's more, our sons and daughters need us to be exactly the kind of mom we were each born to be, because they were born to us for a reason.

So,  here's to the bio moms, step moms, foster moms and adoptive moms of the world. Let us celebrate on this Mother's Day who we are and what we do. And let's carry Natalie's wise words with us throughout the year - we may not always feel like the Best Mom, but we are always the best mom for our kids.

And that is what truly matters.